You walked here?
Alright, good, turn around.
Like that.
Grab that bag.
Excellent performance, Martin.
- What time is it? - Ten-ish.
It's ten? I gotta pick up the kid.
- Where's Tony? - Tony and I went out late last night.
Don't worry, he's going to be here.
- You got this? - Yes! He's not going to flake, neither am I.
- Hey! Hey! Hey! - Yes, chef?
Wake up! We got a critic coming today.
Why you think I slept here for, bro'?
Let's get going on the soup. We're behind on the egg crepe and let's get the meat on the steak.
- You still shit faced? - No, I'm good, I'm good, chef.
Alright, help Martin with the pig. We got the pig.
Lechon!
Hey, pal.
Hey.
Buckle up, buddy. I'm sorry I'm late.
I'm used to it.
Listen, pal, I don't think we have time to catch a movie today.
Is it because you're getting reviewed?
- Yeah, how did you know about that? - Mom told me.
What did she say?
She said you might be a little worried.
- She said I was worried? - Yeah?
Well, mom doesn't know me that well, okay?
She's pretty spot on about you.
- Oh yeah, oh yeah? You know what mommy thinks I should be doing? - What?
She thinks I should get a food truck.
- I like food trucks. - Yeah, I like food trucks, who doesn't like food trucks?
Can you picture me driving around in a food truck? I'm a chef, I work in a restaurant.
Okay.
Listen, I gotta go to the farmer's market 'n pick up some ingredients .
Okay. Can I come?
- I was thinking of dropping you off the restaurant. Molly is there. - No, I want to go with you.
- You're not going to be asking me for everything you see? - No.
It's not about you eating, it's about me buying groceries.
- I know! - Okay, good.
- You got the purple and white? - Just orange.
Just orange? Alright, give me six bunches of those or either eight of those small...
hang on a second, buddy.
And on the radishes here, I use the top, okay, the consistent top.
- Dad! - See what's happening...
Six of these, let's see who we got...
- Dad! - What do you want, Percy, what do you want?
- Can I please have kettle corn? - Daddy's working, okay?
- No, you're not getting kettle corn. Why don't you get a piece of fruit? - I don't want fruit.
How can you even asked for kettle corn, you know what kettle corn is?
Kettle corn is carbs covered with sugar, okay?
Look at this piece of fruit, huh? It's beautiful.
How can you even want kettle corn with a gorgeous piece of fruit like this in front of you?
Why don't you have a piece of fruit.
So apparently, they're sending a big reviewer
who is also some huge food blogger, you know what a food blogger is?
- Yeah. - A guy who writes about food on the internet.
I know what a food blogger is.
Well, this guy is a big one...
A lot of these big guys...
they don't like me, they got it in for me because I got a lot of good write-ups since I started out.
- They're haters. - Exactly.
We didn't have that word when I was growing up. There was no word for hater.
The most you would say is that somebody was like jealous
which didn't really capture it.
- A lot of sausages here, have you ever tried andouillette sausages? - No.
- It's spicy. You like spicy? - No.
It's not so spicy, come on.
That's from New Orleans.
- You ever heard of New Orleans? - Yeah?
Yeah?
It's part of the United States, it's part of the whole Louisiana purchase from Napolean.
Yeah...umm...that was... I mean like now.
- That was a long time ago. - 1803.
Whatever.
I'm talking about the food, the culture...you know...
like this andouillette sausage, beignets...you ever heard of that?
- You can get it here. - Not the same.
When you have it here, it's because it reminds you like the whole world of memories that you have...being there
cos' this is like...I'm telling you it's like a whole different world.
- We should go there sometime. - Definitely.
- For real? - Yeah, I mean not now!
- When? - I don't know. I got...everything's very full for me.
I got this reviewer coming...
- After the review? - Yeah, after the review, that'll be good.
- I'm off school next month. - Next month, yeah, we could go next month
but whatever...or like if you...that's alright, I'll ask mum.
- If it doesn't work out next month, we'll go later or something...we'll definitely check it out. - I already did. She's cooled it.
You asked her already?
Where'd you get a phone? How come you've a phone already?
Everybody your age has phones?
Whose bacon is this, huh?
I gotta watch this too?
When I find out who it is, grab your ankles cos' here comes papi Chino...
Hey talk to me, people! How we doing?
Start simmering, the pig's broken down, bacon is fine...
- Got these reduced. - Right.
Guys, big night tonight. You all know what's happening?
Yeah? Okay, let me know as soon as he gets here,
I want people having fun at all the tables around him, call your pretty friends, bring them in, tell them the tickets are on me,
alright? The stand looks crooked...let's get out there, don't make me get the fucking rule out again, please, thank you!
- Oh, chef! - I got the good shit. See this one?
Look at that, that's a special...
- it got curry paste.... - Copy that! Copy that
- Carl. - Not right now, please.
Where the fuck did you get this juicy estimates?
Riva is here!
- What the hell is Riva doing here? - I don't know, all I...
he was on his way back here, I got him an espresso, I bought you maybe five minutes of time.
You should meet him out on the floor.
Just stall him for 5 minutes. Let me get the staff going, please.
Okay, fine, expect him to come back here.
Yeah, thank you.
How are you going keep that psychopath from coming back here?
Huh, you gotta have plan.
- Want to show me what pickle is? - Yeah, pickle means...
- Is Carl in there? - Yeah.
Hey, Carl!
Carl!
Are you...er...are you planning on...altering the menu?
Yeah, I can't do this right now, please, just...
- You know, a lot is on the line today. - I know, that's why the menu has to be perfect.
Yeah but I can help you plan it.
I can't do this right now.
Just give me 5 minutes to get my staff going, I'll come out and walk you thru' the menu.
Carl, I've done this before, I can help guide you.
I don't need guidance right now, I need space.
Okay? Thank you.
Could we have a little privacy, guys?
I ask you to leave, you got to look at Carl?
Okay, everybody, tomen cinco, take 5!
- You good? - I got it.
Grab a coffee.
- Let's get something straight. - Yeah.
You don't fucking talk to my staff like that.
I talk to my staff, that's under passage you decided which is
the arrangement we had when you hired me.
Okay, now would you listen to me for a minute?
Carl, I get ideas, sometime my ideas work.
I really don't care what magazine said that you're the next big thing.
The fact is you work for me! In my restaurant, right?
I've had chefs before you in this kitchen.
- I'll have chefs after you, okay? - Alright, good talk. Let me get back to work.
You know who's coming tonight.
We're being reviewed by the most important critic in the city.
- You know that his online blog was sold to AOL for... - for 10 million dollars.
- That's right. You knew that? Okay. - Yes, I know.
He's a big deal and that's why I want to cook him a good menu.
- You want to keep up a...you want to cook him a good menu? - I want to cook up some good food
Yeah...yeah...well then...
and our place is in a fucking creative rut.
- In a rut? - In a creative rut!
You do know that we're doing better than any place in the neighborhood?
I'm not talking about how much money we're making I'm talking about creatively...the food that we're serving.
It's the same food we've been serving for 5 years.
You remember what happened when you put "guts" on the menu?
- Are you talking about my sweet breads? Is that what you mean by "guts"... - Yes.
When you put that artsy shit on the menu, people don't like it,
not one person ordered your sweet breads!
Please listen to me!
I sank a fortune into the remodel to get you the French er...cooking top...whatever it is...that table top.
- French cooking suite. - Right, not every chef gets that, you know?
Do you know why you get it? Do you know why?
Because you deserve it.
See, you don't know that but I know, you deserve it!
So be smart, just for tonight.
Look, if you bought Stones' tickets and Jagger didn't play "Satisfaction"...
how would you feel?
Would you be happy?
- No. - No! You would burn the place to the fucking ground!
Your menu works. People love it.
Carl, do what you want tonight, okay, you're the chef, you know what I think?
I think you should play your hits.
Alright, let's go, pre shift, guys.
Big night tonight. Here's what we're doing...
We're going with the favorites. Starting with the caviar egg,
scallop,
French onion soup,
frisee salad,
Lobster risotto,
fillet,
I want to finish strong with the crowd-pleaser: chocholate lava cake.
Talk to Molly about wine pairings.
Let me know when he gets here and let's have fun! Put your heart in it, people, big night,
let's have some fun! Good! Good!
I'm so tired of being alone I'm so tired of on-my-own
Won't you help me girl Just as soon as you can?
People say that I've found a way to make you say
that you love me...
Hey baby, you didn't go for that it's a natural fact
That I wanna come back show me where it's at, baby
I'm so tired of being alone, I'm so tired of on-my-own
Won't you help me girl, as soon as you can?
Dad!
Let's go!
For the review, here we go!
To the team!
Carl was...eager to please.
10 years ago I had the good fortune to dine at Chef Casper's revelatory Miami Beach Romero.
Miami on the house, baby!
The sheer audacity of this fresh, brave, voice of the culinary scene
reminded me why I write about food as a vocation
or pleasure.
It's nearly impossible to seperate my glowing regard for Chef Casper and how much he inspired me
for my expectation till I sat down to dine at the recently remodelled Brentwood Gallet Staple Galoise
Well, times have changed. Over the last decade, Carl Casper has somehow managed to transform himself
from the edgiest chef in Miami to the needy aunt that gives you $5...everytime you
see her, in hopes that you will like her but instead causes you to shrink from her cloying embrace
which threatens to smother you with her sagging moist cleavage.
The signature app intended to impress the Country Club brunch crowd is the caviar egg,
a sheared egg topped with a dollop of caviar is an excuse for the chef to overcharge us
for his insecurity and lack of imagination.
Carl Casper can best be summed up by the first bite of his needy
and yet by some miracle also irrelevant chocholate lava cake. Casper didn't even have the courage
to undercook the cake,
thus curiosly lacking its signature molten center.
This sad dessert is emblematic of Carl Casper's disapointing new chapter.
His dramatic weight gain can only be explained by the fact that he must be eating
all the food sent back back to the kitchen.
2 stars.
I don't get it.
- I don't get it. - Everyone loved it. He loved it even.
Then why did he write all that mean shit about me,
- about my food? - Who cares?
- I do.
'Cos I could've done better. I should've cooked the shit I was gonna cook.
You're ignoring the fact that everyone was happy
and you're making a problem where there's no...there's no problem.
It's not hard to make people happy. There's certain things that you put on the menu that will make
everybody happy if you put Ikan tuna on the menu, it'll sell out, it's guaranteed... you know that!
But I cooked the beef cheek which is...a better dish
- and normally, normally no one even tried... - It was good.
- yeah...for family meal! - Well, you're cooking for them.
That's my point. Why do I have to pick?
Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both?
There are chefs that cook food that they believe in
and people will try because they're open to a new experience
- and will end up liking it! - What do you you want me to say to you?
- The truth. - You want me to tell you... that you're the best chef that I ever worked with
and it's true because you are!
You are, Carl, you are the best chef I ever worked with.
- I mean it. - Well...thank you.
You're welcome.
- We both agreed not to do that. - I know...
- Why don't I just cook you something nice... - Okay, fuck it, let's do it.
Mom wants to talk to you.
Inez?
Inez
Are you okay?
I got 2 stars, okay, 2 stars is good, right?
I mean, I don't read that shit normally but...
you know when he start trying all those personal shit about me... how many people you got working here...you got like 50 people working here.
Percy is ten years old, does he still need a nanny?
He's in school all day, what has she been doing here...hi, Flora.
- Hi, Mr. Carl. - What's he...what's she doing here?
You know that he's hurt, right?
Because I was late? I already apologized to him, we're fine.
Late? He waited for you for one hour...alone...outside.
Well I didn't realize it was that long... it's just...that was the day that...
You're right.
I didn't like what they wrote about you.
I didn't like it either.
You heard, right?
You okay?
I'm alright.
Good.
I'm going to make it up to him.
- That was fun, right? - Yeah, where're you going?
I gotta work on the menu.
- It's still early, can I watch? - Yes, sorry, it's at work.
I won't get in the way.
- Yeah, I gotta go to work. - Okay, bye.
- We'll have fun next week. - Okay.
What the hell are you doing here?
This is madness, huh. This is crazy, you didn't go home, did you?
No, come here.
Go home, man. Go home! You've been here all night. Go home, get some sleep!
Fuck Twitter! Come on, get out of here!
Fuck Twitter? What are you talking about... fuck Twitter?
I mean...you know...fuck them, that's what I mean, I mean...who reads that shit anyhow.
I'm not on Twitter. I don't know what you're talking about.
Nothing. Just...just classic bullshit.
- What is that? - That's carne asada. Check it out.
- Good? - It's fucking unbelievable, man!
- Is it? - Holy shit!
- No, seriously. - No, I'm serious!
- Tell me the truth. - I'm telling you the truth...it's incredible!
Is it good seasoning?
Holy shit! Chef big dog up all night cooking!
- Come here, buddy. - Come here!
- Tony, check this out. - Shut up and and taste this, moose duche, come here.
Is it good?
- Look at that. - Too much heat?
- That's perfect, chef. - Is it good? Seasoning?
Oh, it's perfect, nice and spicy.
- You like it? - Oh, man.
Huh, look at that!
- Yeah? - God, it's fucking great!
- Don't fuck with me, is it good. - He's happy, he's happy.
It's flavourful, fuck man!
It's nice, right? Is it good?
Oh, big dog, fuck Twitter.
Fuck Twitter? Again what the...fuck Twitter... why...why should I fuck Twitter?
- You're not on Twitter? - No.
What, you're getting too much pussy, is that the problem?
That got to be, right?
What does Twitter have to do with pussy?
- Have you not heard of the term "social networking" ? - Yeah?
- That's what it is. - You mean it's pussy?
You got like pussy... or like getting tickets to something or...
(gibberish)...anything that requires a database.
So pussy requires a database?
Yeah...!
So...show me what's on Twitter that's so bad that I should see.
Oh shit, is that ?
- Hey man, you made a fucking godgi dom? - That's...that's under the squab!
But he's going to 86 it, he was going to 86 it.
- Don't worry about fucking Riva. - Let's just serve that Korean shit.
Let me handle him. Don't worry about that. I got it.
He said just serve whatever I want.
- Alright, alright. - We're going to cook like this.
Have you tried that? That's broccoli ravel, enjoy, check this out.
Don't be ridiculous! What've you got over there?
So you tell me that I'm a lucky woman.
You're so right, yes you so right
Girl you know, there is no other place I'd be right now
Holding hands with my baby
So I'm going to love you until the sun comes up
Be that extra sugar you need in your cup
From this love There's no holiday
From this love We won't take a break no
From this love There's no holiday
- Mom cuts off the crust. - Well, I don't.
It's good.
You bet your ass it's good.
- Would you turn that down, please? - Oops, sorry.
- You know about Twitter? - Yeah, I got an account.
Yeah?
- How does it work? - It's cool.
It's cool? That's how it works, it's cool?
- You tweet on it. - Is that like texting?
No.
Sign me up.
Okay.
So what do you want your user name to be?
- Carl? - You can't just put "Carl", not unless you add something.
How about "Carl Casper".
- Taken. - You mean someone took my name?
- "@ChefCarlCasper", is that cool? - Uh, it's cool?
@Chef...CarlCasper.
So is this for sex?
- Ewww...is this what you're doing it for? - No, I'm not doing for that.
Somebody wrote something bad and I want to see what they wrote.
Good.
- Oh, shit! - Hey, you can't talk like that!
I don't care if mommy's not around, I don't want you cursing around here.
- That review went viral. - What does that mean?
- It means it got picked up and re-tweeted everywhere. - So all these people have read the review?
- Yeah. - No shit!
- I think it's kind of cool. - I don't.
- No, I mean us doing this. - Doing what?
- You know, just hanging out. - We hang out all the time.
No, like hanging out and doing something.
We...we do things.
No, not like just watch something...doing something
like hanging out and talking. We never talk with each other.
I figure, you know, with you living at mom's house, and me working all the time that when we hung out you liked to do fun things.
I think this is kind of fun, you know, just figuring stuff out like when you work at home.
I miss that too.
I want you to come back home.
Percy, I can't just...
You know the reason I'm not living at home, you know that, right?
- Hmm...hmm. - 'Cos it's true.
- Then why... - Then why what?
Why don't you live at home?
Well, mommy and daddy, you know, we both grew apart in different directions
but we're still really good friends, it's just better if we don't live in the same house
and that we're not married.
- You understand? - No.
It's hard to explain.
Hey listen, could we Twitter each other when we're not in the same place?
Yeah.
- Could you show me how to do that? - Yeah.
Okay.
So first, you click here and you have to enter your user name.
- Alright. - You can also log in on your iPhone.
You click this button here, it goes to feed so all your followers can read it.
- Dad. - Yeah.
- You got 1,653 followers since last night. - Huh, is that good?
It's amazing.
Oh good, what does that mean?
It means you got 1,653 people are reading your Twitter feed.
I thought it was like texting.
- Did you post anything since last night? - No.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I just sent a private message to somebody.
- To who? - To that a-hole food critic.
You can only send private messages to people who are following you.
I think you might've posted that publicly.
No, he wrote something nasty about me and then I hit reply and let me send a message to him.
Dad, replies are public. Everybody can read them
and it looks like he re-tweeted it to all his 123,845 followers
- and he wrote back. - What did he say?
- I don't think I should read it. - Just...can you read it to me, please.
Read...read the reply.
@ Chef Carl Casper: "I would rather have you sit on my face
after a brisk walk on a warm day
than suffer through that fucking lava cake again."
- He wrote that to me? - He wrote it to everybody.
- You gotta be kidding me. - Wow!
You realize how many people have read this? I'm up to two thousand followers since last night.
You're trending, bro'.
They're sending me messages, they're goading me into responding to this prick.
- Then, don't do it! Don't do it! - Don't do that!.
Don't respond.
Yeah but half of the people are saying he's right.
Yeah, but half of the people is saying he's wrong. That's the fucking Internet, bro'.
- That's right, listen to him. - That's social media. Are you on Twitter?
- Yeah, I'm a Tweeter. - What's your name?
"littlemarty", but all the people following me are people I don't
even want to hang out with from that day...I avoid all...
- Hey! Hey! What're you doing? - Just writing...
Don't do it. What're you writing?
- Chef, don't...it's not a good idea. - Just listen,
I won't sent it until we all say it's okay.
"Why don't you come by again tonight, I got a whole new menu just for you, asshole!"
- Oh no, no! Give me the phone! - That's not good, not a good idea!
Don't do it!
That's out there now, bro'.
- Why did you do that? - You can't take that back.
You know what? I threw down the gaunlet.
So get ready for a fight.
I'm going to drop Percy off, when I do and when I come back we're gonna cook the menu we should've cooked last time!
So what're we doing today?
I gotta drop you off, kid, I gotta go shopping for tonight, sorry.
- Can I come with you? - No, I'm sorry.
How come I'm like never allowed to be in the kitchen?
Because it's hot and it's loud and there's a lot of bad language.
- So what? I hear bad languages all the time. - Where?
On line.
What kind of website can a 10 year old get on that has bad language?
- Youtube. - Youtube has bad language?
- Can I at least come shopping with you? - No.
I got a lot to do and I got a lot on my mind.
Look who's waiting for us. Hi, mommy.
Come here, I miss you! Give me a kiss.
- Hi! - Hi!
Umm..so my publicist said that she can talk to you, why don't you talk to her?
- About what? About Twitter? - Everybody is reading what you wrote.
- I don't think you get it. - Get what?
Come, let's call her, go inside with me and I'll call her.
Yes, please tell her to call me immediately. I have Carl with me. I'm at home, thank you.
- Alright, I'm going to go. - No, no, she's going to call right back, she was on the other line.
I think you're making more of this than it is.
I just don't like to see you like this.
I'm fine. I just need to get back to work.
You're never going to be happy cooking for someone else.
Is this about the food truck? I don't want to talk about the food truck again.
Why not?
You can cook your own food, you can be your own boss,
you can even cook for all the parties that I'm doing.
I appreciate the offer but I don't need any charity from you or your ex-husband.
- Why are you being so proud? - Because I'm working
and despite what you might think, I've complete freedom to cook whatever I want now.
I like my life!
And as far as your publicist goes, when she calls back, you let her know
that I understand that I shouldn't tweet any pictures of my dick
and any career advice should be kept to oneself. Okay? I'll see you later, thank you.
I got all this shit in the trunk, come on!
- You want to do this? - Is it on?
- Yeah. - We're doing it, guys!
Alright, let's get everything out!
I want the cambros, I want the delis and the...
You got the French cheese?
Carl, Riva wants to know what's going on?
- How many reservations we got? - We're overbooked but I just went and got all the menus I need.
It's not the menu you got printed, it's different.
- That what I understand. - It's a tasting menu tonight for Ramsey Michel.
- I know but we've to... - He's coming here, he knows about it, did you see the EAR article?
- I did and I'm so proud for you. - It's all over the Internet. It's great!
- Taste the food. Taste the food. - I love it so much when you get
I want them to come and taste the food. I want them to understand what we're going for.
- Okay? - Okay.
We're not pushing specials today. The whole menu is special.
I'm excited. I'm finally happy. I'm happy, okay?
Am I allowed to be happy at work?
Carl, Carl, we're staying with the same menu, right?
I have something really good planned for tonight and.. you know it's not sweet breads
That may be true but we have the most reservations we've had
on a week night since we opened, did you realize that?
I know, I was on Twitter. I was promoting the restaurant.
- What? - I was on Twitter.
Yeah, that's another thing. From now on before you post anything
on line, I okay it, alright?
The whole reason everybody is here tonight is because I called that Ramsey Michel
on line and they all come here to watch me stick it into his ass.
Yeah and you're going to twitter an apology for calling the most
respected critic in Los Angeles an asshole.
- I'm not fucking going to apologize to that guy! - What do you mean you're not... - Did you see what he wrote about me?
- I don't give a fuck what he wrote! - He started it?
I don't care! You're a cook! You're a chef!
This is what you've been cooking for years and it works.
And either you cook the menu that our customers have come to...
- You want me to cook the same food? - The same exact.
The same food that he ripped apart, the same guy who's coming tonight?
The restaurant isn't filled with critics, it's filled with people that have been eating
your food for the last 10 years!
So now suddenly you going to be an artist.
Well, be an artist on your own time!
- Listen to me! - No sweet breads, no calves brains.
I'm not cooking sweet breads, listen to me!
The kitchen is my domain, that was our deal.
I don't give a fuck what the deal was!
The deal is now changed,
either you stay or you go, it's up to you, end of discussion!
We got a full house of people, who are coming tonight...
- ...to eat my food. - No, it's not your food, Carl, it's not your food.
By definition, it's my food because it's my restaurant.
I pay for the glasses, I pay for the napkins, I pay for the spoons.
I pay for Molly's salary, I pay for your entire staff's salary.
Okay? So you either cook my menu or Tony can.
Tony, you've been cooking it half the time anyway, to tell the truth, right?
So you're threatening to fire me now?
Am I threatening to fire you...no! I'm telling you what I'm prepared to do
if you don't cook my menu, subject closed.
Well, why don't you cook the menu without a chef
and we'll see how it goes tonight!
Let's go, Tony. Fuck this!
Tony?
Good luck.
- Oh no way, no way! - Good luck!
No way, man! Hell no, come on!
Don't do anything.
- Don't do it, you all stay. - You'll call me?
Tony, you got a full house tonight, be a pro, okay?
Bring that soup back! Bring that soup back!
Just a moment, please.
Welcome back.
Lovely to see you again, Mr. Michel, right this way.
Thank you.
- Hope traffic wasn't too bad. - No, it wasn't.
Where's the order for table 22, 45, 46...
What's going on here, man?
Yes, how can I help you?
Isn't this...wasn't this on the menu the last time I visited?
I believe it was.
Oh...I was under the impression that tonight was somehow going to be...a little different...
- ...more of an event. - I understand.
Is there something we can do to make you more comfortable?
umm...could I speak with the chef, with Chef Casper?
I've a wonderful 09' that I just opened to let breathe.
If I may, the last time I was in Napa, the vineyard, they shipped me
this bottle as a gift and I've been waiting for the right occasion.
That's very generous of you.
- Is Chef Casper here? - Unfortunately, he was called away.
Is he coming back?
I'm afraid that was, er...left ambiguous.
It's official. @ Chef Carl Casper was a no show
Perhaps the lack of heart is what I tasted in his food.
- I need you up front. - I got a reservation.
- Get off the phone!. - Please let me do my job!
Please go to the bar! Tony!
Carl, I can't talk right now. We are in deep need.
This guy is tweeting me, this guy is calling me on the line, what the fuck are you serving?
I don't know, I think they're serving the same shit!
- What's it? - I...
- What course is he on? - He's eating the chocholate lava cake right now.
-You just keep him right where the fuck where he is! - What?
- I'm parking the car. - Carl, what?
Don't let him leave. Keep the mother fucker there!
Is he here?
What the fuck is going on here?
Fuck!
- Go back to the house. - I just want to say one thing only.
Stop it for a second!
Just...just...
- I've been waiting to talk to this prick for a long time! - Okay.
I am not cloying, I am not needy, I don't care what you think!
You're not getting to me! I'm not needy!
Chocolate lava cake is not just under-cooked chocolate cake.
That's not what makes the center molten.
You take a frozen cylinder of ganache and you set it in the ramekin so that
as the outside cooks fully, the inside becomes molten!
Okay, okay.
It's fucking molten, you see? It's fucking molten, you asshole!
And you don't do anything. What do you do?
You sit and you eat and you vomit those words back
to make people laugh! You know how hard I work for this shit?
Do you know how my whole staff works?
What sacrifice they make, to make you happy
- and then you just smugly, just fucking shit on my shit! - Okay.
It hurts! It fucking hurts when you write that shit, it hurt you!
It does, it does.
He was...he thought he was going to close his fucking restaurant down!
You asshole!
And what do you do? You just write shit to make...
...you just make shit up, my shit was molten!
It's fucking molten!
Asshole!
- You're not getting to me! - Okay, okay
- You're not getting to me! - Okay, Carl.
- He's not getting to me! - No, he's not.
I know but you're a publicist, don't you have relationships, isn't that what you're hired to do, to take things like this off the internet?
But it's out there!
Even if I could pursuade one site to pull out one clip,
there're dozen others from other cellphones!
What should we...could we at least lawyer up and threaten legal action or something?
You threatening them with lawyers, builds on a story that's already
getting a lot of play and then you get another week of headlines
and then you got this food critic posting fresh blogs about you non stop
and they're all getting picked up and the picked-up headlines are being picked up by each other.
You know, it's absolutely unbelievable!
So...so what're you're saying, you're saying there's nothing that I could do?
- To get the footage pulled? No, that lives forever! - Great, awesome.
But there just might be an opportunity here.
How could this possibly be an opportunity?
Well, I was holding off until we spoke but I'm fairly certain we have a good shot at "Hell's Kitchen".
- Wait, what? - The reality show.
I don't think you understand what's going on here.
- I'm a real chef, with... - You said you needed money, right?
A job.
A job, not money. I need a job, like I had.
Well, your twitter account says you got 20,000 followers, that's pretty damn bad.
Yeah, I'm going to cancel the account, don't worry.
Don't cancel it! I can get you money to mention a few products!
Are you listening to me? I don't want to get involved with any of that! I want to cook food.
You got 2 choices.
You can either lean into it and work it for all it's worth,
Like Honey Boo Boo, I don't want to do that.
Do you know how much money she pulls down, or her mother?
I don't care how much money she makes, just get to your point.
or you can go underground and wait 'till the storm passes. You got 2 choices.
I thought that shit lives forever on line.
It does but there's so much news out there and it's so fast and
there're so much white noise, nobody remembers anything.
Uh...okay, thank you for...er... taking the time and walking me through everything, it's very illuminating.
Oh, you're hanging up? Okay, listen, I want you to call me any time, I'm right here.
If you can't get me, I'm on a cellphone and I've got a pager.
Okay, thank you and thank Inez for me.
- No, thank you and what about "Hell's Kitchen"? - What about it?
- You still want me to pursue it, right? - No, I don't want you to pursue it!
Okay, I won't call them but I'll email them.
Are you not listening to...er... look, I'm going to go. Okay
I got a...got a call coming in.
Okay, alright, I'll tell you how "Hell's Kitchen" goes.
Fucking idiot!
Oh, man!
- Hey, Inez. - Hi, did you talk to Jen?
Yeah, I just got off with her.
and...?
and...you know...it's terrible. What do you want me to tell you? I can't dress it up. I just want to cook.
Everything is going to work out.
Yeah, half a dozen places tried to poach me when I was back at Galoise's , I'm trying to line up some interviews for next week.
That's good.
Yeah, so...listen, until this whole job thing works out, could you keep Percy for me?
But you still taking him with you to New Orleans, right?
Is he there?
I'll tell him.
Let me talk to him, I don't mind.
Hey, dad. I understand if we can't go to New Orleans.
Oh man, thank you so much for saying that, er...just daddy is so busy with work right now.
You're the best.
- Maybe some other time. - Yes, we will for sure, thank you.
Bye.
Oh...cito! What's up, man? Look, everybody, Jefe is here!
Come on, get me some drinks, something premium, kettle one , for the man!
Ah...dude!
- Oh, you're everywhere! - Is that right? It's bad.
- You saw it? You saw it? - I saw it. It's everywhere.
It's terrible, you and I are out of work again.
I am now. No, seriously, there're people who are calling me.
- Dude, oh, great! - Yes.
- I'm glad to hear that! I knew you would've something bigger than this! - Yeah.
- You actually don't care coming back here. - Yeah.
So you came back to tell me you got me a gig?
Cos I'll leave Gauloise's just like that, baby!
- No, Just wait for my first phone call until something becomes real. - Don't leave me behind! Don't ever do that again!
Don't hit me, please don't hit me, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry
I was on the spot, bro',
I've been drinking that day, I didn't know what to do, I'm a pussy basically, I'm really sorry.
- I vouch for that! - What're you going to do? It's a big opportunity.
Then they put you on Youtube and I felt so responsible for that shit!
- That shit was funny by the way. - What so funny about that? It's not funny for me.
It's just that like...everybody I know saw it, so I kind of felt like famous by knowing you, you know?
Is it...a little bit funny or like... is it they're laughing at me or with me?
A little bit of both.
They're laughing with you and at you at the same time.
- It's so embarassing. - Bro', it's terrible, it's so bad
but it's funny too at the same time, it makes you kinda like - likeable in a weird kind of way.
The guy deserved it, everybody knows that guy deserved it.
- But seriously, I'm sorry. - It's alright.
- You know, I'm going to land on my feet... - I know, I know!
and I'm going to be there with you, bro'...I'm your sous chef now and forever.
You're not my sous chef anymore, you are chef de cuisine...
but I wouldn't even be there, I wouldn't be shit if it wasn't for you!
Riva is right about one thing.
You're ready to run your own kitchen, so don't blow it, it's a big opportunity for you.
To Tony's big new opportunity!
To chef de cuisine!
I don't know how it happended but I'm happy it happened!
- Okay? - True words there.
You guys, I love you fucking guys!
I love you, Tony!
- I love you. - Thanks, chef. I love you, man.
I love both of you.
We love you, man. Let's have a three-way right here, come on.
I love you, man. I'm glad you made up with "her".
Thanks...Do you stick it up a job?
The truth of the matter is...nobody is calling me. I got no job prospects whatsoever.
- What about those offers you.. - I got none, they all dried up.
- None from on line? - Basically from on line.
- Come on! - I'm like a fucking cat playing a piano.
I don't even know what that means.
I'm everywhere, okay, like...
I'm like...I'm like a meme. Do you know what a meme is? I'm a meme...
I'm a fucking meme!
Carl, you need to take a break.
- I've been on a break. I've had too much of a break. - No, you need a real break.
I need to work, I need to get back to work in a kitchen...
I don't care. I wish I never would've ope'... I just should've cooked the shit...
You going to work for another Riva in some other restaurant?
You've been miserable here as long as I've known you, Carl
- That's such a truth and a blast! - Yes, sweetheart...a blast and now it's time for you to go.
You don't belong here anymore, you know it, come on.
What's this? Who's this girl?
- Carl... - What?
- ...be real with me. - I am.
You've been ignoring a lot of things in your life that need your attention, like Percy.
I'm not " dad material" right now,
if you hadn't noticed, I'm embarassing.
He sees all that shit on the computer.
- Fine. - His friends are...
Maybe it is important for you to talk to him about it, then.
- I just... - He needs you, Carl.
- I don't know him, okay? He's at a weird age. - Why don't you take this time to get to know him?
I want you to be happy.
You're not happy.
You never going to be happy here.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
I never NOT known what I'm going to do. I've always known there'll always be the next thing to do
and now it's all ended, I'm like...fucking lost.
I think that's a good place to start.
- Alright. - Come here.
You're the best.
- I'll hold on for him, I promise. - Okay.
You do that.
Thank you.
Hi, Flora. Percy here?
- He's inside. - Can you tell him I'm here?
- Sure. - Thanks.
Hi.
- Why are you here? - I'm here to see Percy. It's been a while.
I'm glad you're here but why didn't you call to say that you were coming?
I don't know...because...
He said he's sleeping.
- Okay, I'm going to talk to him. - No...no...wait one second.
She said he said he's sleeping but
if he's sleeping, she'll just say he's sleeping so he's not sleeping.
Let me talk to him.
No, wait, can you come and talk to me for one second first?
Please, come.
Percy and I are going to Miami to see my father.
So why don't you come with us?
- What? - Yeah, come with us.
You want me to go...I can't come with you to Miami.
I don't have any money.
I need to wait to get another job
for all the shit to blow over, with the internet, the Twitter and all that shit.
Yeah but you know, I could lend you some money before...
I don't want your money. I can't take charity from you.
You know he's really upset because he couldn't go with you to New Orleans, right?
He's hurt. He misses you.
Okay, what you want me to do?
You know that nannies can't get on plane,
so why don't you come with us and you take care of him while I work.
So you want me to come with you to watch Percy?
Yeah.
- So I'm the nanny? - Yes, his nanny, in Miami.
It might be good, that's where it all happened for you.
That's where Percy was born, that's where you got your first job as a chef.
Maybe it'll just like clear your mind out.
- You think Percy will be okay with that? - Percy would love it.
What do you think?
I have to run out for a quick meeting,
so make sure when you go upstairs, that everything is pressed,
order him some food, make sure he takes a nap, a bath...
No, I don't need a nap, I'm ten.
It's going to be a long night, we're going to see abuelito play.
At "el Hoy Como Ayer"?
- Isn't he a little young for that? - Young for what?
He's not going to perform forever. He wants his grandson to see him play at least once.
Alright well, better keep an eye on him. That place can get pretty crazy.
Me keep an eye? This is why you're going too.
- Where are we? - This is "Little Havana".
- Like in gran tafalo?
- This is where I grew up. - Is he dead?
Yes, this is where abuelito lives and works.
Grandpa still works? What does he do?
What's he saying?
- He's asking if we're back together. - No, no, we're friends.
I'm helping watch the baby.
What's it...I don't understand.
He said that it looks like you gained a couple of pounds since he saw you last.
Maybe since last time I understand but actually recently I'm down 15 pounds.
- He's saying he lost 20 pounds. - 20 ?
I know what he said but I'm down, that was in 2 months. I'm down, in 2 weeks, I've lost 15.
My suit doesn't even fit me anymore.
He's saying his pants might fall.
20 pounds, 20.
Why is he saying 20, I say 15, he says 20.
This is really good. We should wake up Percy so he can try one.
He says he knows - let him sleep. It's too late.
No but he's never had a real Cuban sandwich. I want him to try it.
He said you should make him one.
I want him to have a real one, from here, from Little Havana.
This is really good, by the way.
Yours are way better.
You think people like this kind of food back home?
- You think they will like it. - Yeah, it's real food, why not?
Maybe I'll talk to Marvin.
Let me hear him out, you know, see what he's got in mind for the food truck.
Think he's in town?
I don't know but you know what, I can find out tomorrow. I'll call him.
You know he's here. Is this the whole reason you brought me out?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Try this...the yogurt is amazing.
I love yogurt.
You're full of shit.
I'm Carl Casper, I'm here to see Marvin.
- Pulees? - Excuse me?
In case you don't want to remove your shoes.
Thank you.
Follow me.
- Casper is here! - How're you doing?
I'm glad you're here, look at you.
- How's it going? - Come over here, Candy, come over here.
You're a sight for sore eyes.
Wouldn't you want to eat something? I want to see you eat something
but don't worry,
some crackers or something, thanks.
Look at you...
She's pregnant, just found out.
This one?
Pissed on the stick, came and lay it on me 5 seconds ago.
- Is it...so it's yours? - I don't know, that's what she's saying.
I know, I got a problem cos she's... best receptionist I've ever had.
Yeah?
Good news is I had my tubes tied in '08,
so clearly she's also a fucking liar.
Right.
- That's tough. - What do you want, you want a coke or water?
- You okay? - I'm alright, I'm alright.
- You want a drink? - No.
- Let's make some decisions together. - Alright, we start off...
Let's start off with the easy ones, we got shit to talk about.
We got 4 swatches, right? Let's start off easy and then we'll get into the uncomfortable stuff.
- Pick it. - The...for the...for here?
I don't know...
Yeah, putting the carpet down... cos people keep slipping aroud like it's a fucking ice rink in here.
You could always take the booties off
- and er... - Can't do that.
- I'll go with, I don't know...this one? - You like that one?
- I think, if you're not going to paint, this one seems like a... - People don't walk on the walls, Carl
or I can keep it if I want.
Keep the kid, knowing it's not mine.
- Yes. - You know, for once I'm a good guy.
She stays on my desk and I fucking got something on her
but you decide, what do you think?
- Are we talking about the carpet now or are we talking about the baby? - I don't know anymore.
I think...umm...
I'll go with the brown and as far as that goes...that's a personal, I...don't...
You're not a turd, okay?
I don't want you feel that way, coming in here with your hat in your hand.
You went fucking crazy on the internet, that was awesome.
You lost respect which I love because it's passion.
You know, you lost everything, you know, you're not a loser but you've lost, okay?
You're not a turd, a turd that lost...
- I don't know that I feel like a turd. - Good.
I feel like I had a bad week.
I felt like I've lost my job and made an ass of myself on the internet,
I'm divorced, I'm old and I got no money, I'm living in a shitty apartment in Venice.
You know what make me feels like a turd?
That I'm in my ex-wife's ex-husband's office and asking for a fucking favor
and all he's doing is busting my balls.
I like this humility, it's good.
Truth be told, food trucks are a great idea.
- You know what I mean? - I think we take it back to something simple.
Let me see if I got something to say anymore, I don't even know.
It's no problem, as long as it's not weird for you. I don't want you to feel like...
because you were with Inez, you guys were sleeping together, I was with her and we had this...
I was with her, then you were with her and then maybe I fucked her after...
I don't even know what happened with us.
I came out to L.A for a Clippers' game once and I think we had a couple of drinks,
- we went to Islands, I think she had a... - What happened between the two of you?
I don't even...you know what, it doesn't matter. Here's what happened.
We're talking about a white on white, '88 Chevy Grumman food truck,
the blank canvass for your dreams.
I'm going to have them pull it around.
Thank you.
Don't thank me 'til you see it.
Yeah, I'm in Miami now.
How many ? interviews did you have?
- Not a prospect panned out. - Oh, for real?
Yeah.
It sucks. So I guess you gonna have to stay there for a while, bro'.
Hey Carl, hey...papi, I don't know if you heard or not but...
I got bumped up man, to sous chef.
- Sous chef? - Yeah!
No shit! That's excellent! Congratulations man, that's a big deal!
Thank you man. That means a lot coming from you, seriously.
Yeah but enough about me, what.. so what you gonna to do?
You going to laugh.
- I got a food truck. - Get the hell out!
No, shit, you got a fucking taco truck?
- Tony, Tony, Carls got a fucking taco truck! - For real?
- Efe! - With tacos and all that shit?
Yeah, I would assume.
What're you gonna cook?
You know, Cuban sandwiches, platanos, arroz con pollo...
simple shit, like what we used to do for family meals.
Oh yeah, I rememeber those days.
- I would love some of that shit right now. - What's he going to do with a taco truck?
- Is good, right? - Yeah!
- It could be cool. - Get off the phone, bro'! Let's go!
Alright. alright, I'm sorry, I'm sorry man, Attilia the Hun is calling me, I gotta go, man.
Alright, be good, man.
- Is this the new truck? - This is it. This is the truck.
It's got good bones, gonna need a lot of work though.
Ahhhh, what doesn't.
You want to take a look around, champ?
- Do I have to? - Go, go in and look at your dad's new truck!
- Can I er...can I ask you a question? - Something wrong?
Did you sleep with him?
- With who? - With Marvin, did you sleep with Marvin?
- Of course I did, he is my ex-husband. - I mean, since we were divorced.
Who...who did you sleep with last, him or me?
I'm sorry but it's none of your business what I did after I divorced you.
I didn't ask you what you do with your hot little waitress.
That's completely different, that's not fair to say.
Yes, this is somebody you loved, that you shared a life with and I...
Why do we have to talk about this right now?
Because I took a business meating...
- ...with that guy. - This is not the moment!
I want to know why giving a truck to me, smiling at me like he has got something on me.
- Please, you know him, you know how he is. - I do know him!
- Okay, so who cares? - I care!
Why did you need to know?
I just would like to...it doesn't bother me.
- I just want to know! - Okay, just listen.
I was very sad, I was very lonely
and you, more than anyone know, how I get after I have a couple of drinks.
I don't want to know the details, please. I'm not one of your girl friends, just don't tell me.
- he was my first... - Stop talking!
- Okay, the kid is here, I don't want to know the details. - ...it came out like a natural, organic thing.
- I don't want to know. - We didn't...
...we didn't go thru' with it.
It's not there and we realized we're just good friends.
I think there's something dead in there.
Okay, go and look for it, maybe it's a rat.
- I'm going, I've to go...work. - Wait wait wait...
You going? No, no, no.
- You can't leave... - You said you were going to help me, okay?
Go work with your dad, it's fun! I'll be back later, bye.
Alright, take that bucket and fill it. See that hose?
Trash! Trash! Trash!
Stay back!
Save the metal ones!
Turn over!
Alright, Percy.
I got some presents for you. Watch this.
Steel wool, right? Scrub brush, right?
I want you to do that...on the whole truck.
Hey buddy, you don't have to clean that, we're throwing it out, alright? Clean something else.
Alright, that looks good. Clean out the lowboy now.
- The what? - The...the recessed fridge, right here.
Clean this out.
That's it, this is where the smell is coming from, what is that?
I don't know. Whatever it is, clean it out.
- What the hell are you doing? - You told me to clean it out.
I didn't tell you to throw into the garbage. It's a perfectly good hotel pan, scrub it out!
No, that's gross! I'm not cleaning that out!
- Pick it out of the garbage! - Are you kidding! It's disgusting!
You don't throw it in the garbage, like we saved all the rest of the stuff, just clean it out!
No!
- Pick it out of the trash. - No!
Pick it out of the trash can!
You wanted to work in a kitchen, this is what working in a kitchen is, okay?
- We don't throw shit out! - I want to come and cook, not clean it!
- Pick it out of the garbage! - No, clean your own stupid truck!
Why are you so mean to me?
Hey, I can't get a hold of your mom.
The truck looks great, you did a great job. I'm sorry I was mean.
That wasn't right of me.
I'm got to pick up some equipment for the truck, you want to come with me and help me pick out a stove,
till mom calls back?
Fine.
Alright, let's go.
- You know what this is? - French fries?
That's right, a fryer. This is what we need, right here. Come on, let's go.
Double conventional oven underneath, it's real workhorse, 60 inches. I think we could fit that onto our truck. What do you think?
- Let's get it. - Let's get this one. Good. Done.
This is the, ah.. Here's what we need. This is the thing I was looking for, right there.
A George Foreman grill?
It's not a George Foreman grill. It's called the "plancha". You make Cuban sandwiches on it.
It's the key to our entire livelihood. We need 2 of these.
Yeap.
That's good. You know what? Let's also get the 6 inch chefs knife with the plastic handle.
- Do you need the holder to go with it? - Yeah, I'll take the cover as well.
Do you see this, Percy?
That's a chefs knife. A real chefs knife.
It's not a toy, do you understand?
This thing is sharp. It can send you to the hospital if you're not careful.
I'm going to teach you how to use this thing.
The chefs knife belongs to the chef, not to the kitchen.
So it's your responsibility to keep it sharp, clean, not to lose it.
- Could you handle that? - Yes.
This's a good knife, last you a long time if you take care of it.
- Don't lose it. - I won't.
Thank you.
You earned it.
How're we going to get it into the truck?
Well, Marvin said that we could use some of his guys to help out.
Hey guys!
Hello, I'm Carl. This is my truck.
I need some help moving these equipment in. Marvin said that you guys might help me?
I got it. Mind if I borrow this?
Get to the top floor.
Maybe a little higher?
The hard part was getting it over to the truck and now we just have to tip...
...if I can get one end up...onto the tailgate...
Okay.
Oh, hey hey, don't do that! Don't think you're gonna rupture something, man!
- Hey! - Martin!
Hey killer, what's up, how are you doing, little gangster, huh?
What the hell are you doing here?
I warned you man, I warned you. If you were to get another gig, I'd drop everything
to be your line cut, didn't I?
- That's a food truck, you're a sous chef now. - So?
Food truck don't need a sous chef?
Okay, fine, you're hired. Pays nothing.
- I'll take it. - Nice.
- You're not going to scare me, buddy. - I miss you so much.
- Good to see you. - What...You must have just jumped on the plane soon as you got off the phone.
Dude, I was so jealous, when I heard your voice, I was like, that's what I want to do!
So happy you're here.
We're trying to get this up in the truck
I need er...some sort of lever, a fulcrum...
Come on everybody, everybody together, come on!
Holy shit, no, we can't do this, no way. Not without one of us hurting ourselves.
No, no, no no, no, stop, stop! I got it, I got it...
Carl, easy.
- Good to know Spanish. - You got it, man.
Thank you, thank you guys.
- Okay, good! - Nice!
No, no, forget the freaking fire, man. I'm gonna fill up the propane tanks,
you go to the market get "cerveza" , not beer.
I can't go to the market, we still gotta hook up the fryer, we gotta get rid of the sink...
No, baby, by the time you get back, I might have these all spotless and cleaned up for you!
I got a lot of marinate to do. I promised these people the best sandwiches alive, come on!
- Okay, good, so... - Give me the mojo.
Okay, so what do you need, oranges, onion, garlic...
That's right, why don't we juice it up a little bit, huh?
- Tomatillo, chile, cilantro... - Some chillies, yeah, cilantro, get out, get the hell out of here!
"El pingon", let's go.
Okay, look, the key is you gotta look for ingredients and then that gives you ideas of what to cook,
like this is yuca, right? Let's get some of that.
Those look great, see that...and...
...oh, come here!
- You know what this is? - Er...bananas?
That's called the "plantain", platanos. These are maduros, feel the soft?
These're the sweet kind but we want the green ones, Here, hang on to these.
This is what you make tostones with,
that's Marvin's favorite.
- I got it. - You got it?
- I got it. - Too much?
- I got it. - Okay.
- Watch out for tarantulas, come on. - What?
Looks good.
Look at that!
Oh yeah, my masterpiece, baby!
- It's beautiful! - Miami, I am back! Pow!
Nice.
You can just buy those at the store, I think they're sold there.
You sure that's your son, man? Better get a paternity test.
- Look at that! - It's...
- Take a little of that... - Can I have some?
Oh, Martin!
- Please just give me some! - It's not from the store, you might not...
- It's heavy banana, you know - Guys, give me some! - No,...
- ...you don't want any of these! - Yes I do! - You're probably vegan anyhow.
- You can't eat this! - I'm not vegan!
It's not from the store.
- Oh my god... - Guys, come on...
- Martin, can I've some. - Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second.
- Can I get him a piece? - No, man, he's not...alright...
- ...let me think about it. - Just a little piece.
- Pretty good. - Pretty good?
- Better than the store? - Come on!
- Come on, just one more. - That's the best shit you ever had in your life, come on, man!
Oh, give me another one, you gonna give him some, give me some, don't be cheap.
I want more.
You know what? Let's make some sandwiches.
Yes sir, Yes sir! Let's get going.
Hey little man, is the plancha red hot?
- Me? - No, I'm talking to the grill. Yeah, you.
- Can we touch it? - Oh, what do you think?
- No? - That's right, no, genius.
Come over here, look...see this water...bang!
- Is that hot? - Yes.
- Tell him it's hot. - It's hot.
Okay.
Is it as hot as your daddy's underwear?
- Okay, come over here. - Here we go, papi.
- These are perfecto, perfecto. - Now watch me, watch what I'm doing.
2 slices of the ham, 3 pork
There is it...2 slices of cheese, one, two...
- 2 pickles. - 2 big pickles.
Big pickles, nice. One, two, watch this, take this.
- Mustard, end to end. - Okay.
From side to side, not forward and back.
Now, this is the most important part. This is what makes it a "cubano".
Okay.
- Take the butter, see that? - Yes.
On top.
Put a little bit and butter the grill
and just like that, now watch...
I want you to watch till the bread got golden, I want you to watch for the to cheese melt.
When that cheese is melted and bread is golden but not burned,
you call me, you tell me it's done and we'll check,
- okay? - Yes.
Keep an eye on it.
I want you to watch everything and everybody is doing because when we're hopping...
- you gonna have to jump in on the line and help out. - Okay.
- I think it's done. - You think it's done?
Oh, look at that!
Can you see how golden that is? That's how you want it to be everytime.
You gotta be like a robot when you're on the line.
You're the chef, baby, you're the chef.
Okay.
- 3 equal pieces. - Let's see what we got?
Alright, here we go.
- It's hot. - Hot. Let's see.
Look at that cheese!
- Oh my God... - This is good. - This is it.
- This is excellent. - It's incredible.
- This is "empingao" - Oh...empingao
Empingao, man.
- So, is it good? - It's amazing.
- Then I guess we're open. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hey you all, we're ready, come!
I haven't finished my sandwich!
There's a list down here!
Give me some more ham.
Thank you, thank you very much.
This sound system sounds like ass
but hey, I got a cousin who knows a guy who holds the secret to all our musical necessity.
Yeah, my credit cards are maxed out, we're not charging for the food yet
so we have to wait on the sound system.
- Yeah but you look happy, baby, don't you? - So happy, so happy!
That's what counts, doesn't it?
I got one.
- That's burnt. - So? They're not paying for it.
Come with me, get off the truck.
- You got this? - Yeah, I got it. Take your time.
Slow down for a second...
- Is this boring to you? - No, I like it.
Yeah well, I love it!
Everything that's good that's happening to me in my life came because of that.
I might not do everything great in my life,
hey, I'm not perfect. I'm not the best husband and I'm sorry if I wasn't the best father
but I'm good at this
and I want to share this with you. I want to teach you what I learned.
I get to touch people's lives with what I do
and it keeps me going and I love it
and I think if you give it a shot, you might love it too.
Yes, sir.
- Now, should we've served that sandwich? - No, chef.
That's my son. Get back in there, we got some hungry people.
He's ready to cook!
- We did good, man. - We did good.
We got something here!
I say we stick with just the traditional menu.
- We got french fries, we got the fryer. - That's classic.
- You want another beer, boss? - No, I'm good.
Alright.
- Here you go, little man? - Sure.
Is this beer?
No, of course not. I would never hand you beer, that's cerveza.
I'm ten, I can't have beer.
You're not ten. You're kitchen staff, Kitchen staff doesn't have an age.
- Dad? - You get a sip.
- Like piss, right? - Worse!
You remember that when your friends offer you a beer.
Figure we go to South Beach, shake out the truck a little bit, get the menu straight
and after we really confident we got something good then we drive back to L.A.
- and hit a few extra cities on the way? - Why not?
- Can I come? - Can you come?
- Come where? - On the trip.
This isn't a trip. We're just driving the truck back.
You're flying first class to mom with all the divorce money.
- Yeah but you're stopping at cities. - Yeah but you got school.
- I'm on break. - I don't know...
Martin, I like your mojo.
- Hey...don't work me...working me like that! - You working Martin?
- He knows... - He knows my soft spot.
- He likes your mojo. - You got me, man!
We'll talk to your mom. We'll see what she says.
I already did, she cooled it.
- Look at that... - he's not...he's er...he's ten, he's got a phone. - Good for you, good for you man, get things done!
Why not...why not? Let him come...
So I'm going?
- Yeah, yeah, you can come. - I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Go by ? the backhoe. - You want me to take a poo-poo over there?
Hey Carl, Carl, check it out. I drop you guys off the hotel and one of you go get
the rest of the ingredients, stock up on some stuff and I'll put fresh coat of paint on this.
- Don't bother painting. We'll paint it when we get back. Looks fine like this. - No, no, man.
This is on me. My cousin knows a guy, I'm going to hook it up, alright?
Okay.
Who's hungry, huh?
If you change your mind, you call me and I'll be there, anywhere.
Come on, we sell sandwiches, baby!
Come on, buddy.
Call me.
- Alright, buddy, I need you to get me a crowd. - Yes chef, you know it.
...best Cuban food in all South Beach!
Come on, don't be afraid!...Step up, if you needed more, you can swim 90 miles that way!
Okay, 4 medium noches coming up!
- One cubano, you got it? - I got 4 ready over here.
- Yucas fritas, that's you? Here we go. - Yes, sir.
Thank you, thank you for your patience.
- We need a little more. - We need 4 cubanos...
- Four Cuban sandwiches... - Hey, this one is not ready, okay, I'm buttering up.
I got it, I got it.
Hey, watch it!
- Hey, burned my finger! - You okay?
- You want to keep going or you want to stop? - I want to keep going.
- Okay, keep going, keep going! - Go. little man!
- Help me catch up with the yucas fritas fries, go with the chili, the chili, vinegar... - Good job.
Hold on one second, it's coming...
- Chef. - It's perfect, here we go.
La yuca frita.
This is pefect.
Step aside! Step aside!
Thank you.
- Who's in charge here? - Umm...umm...me, what do you need?
- Sir, I need to talk to you on the side here. - Okay.
- On the side, please, right away. - I got you.
Okay, I got it, I got it.
- Relax! Relax! Keep it down. - Hang on guys,
hang on, hang on.
- Can I see your permit? - Permit? Yeah, we got it, we got it.
Everything good?
Yeah, permit is good, just not good to sell here right now.
- Okay, alright, thank you, so, just...what, like a half mile down the road? - Yeah, as long as you're not right here on South Beach you're okay.
Okay, no problem, sorry about that.
Aren't you the lava cake guy?
- Er...yeah, from...er...the... internet. - Yeah?
My kid and I saw you on Tash Parno, you were hilarious.
- Okay, great. - That was hilarious.
Hey, can I get a quick picture with you, for my kid?
- For my kid. - Sure, yeah.
- Hey, you know how to work this? - Hey, Martin, help me out?
- Is that a flat screen TV? - Oh, hold on, let me unlock it for you real quick.
Hang on, we're going to move it down the road.
It's hard to use these modern technology.
- My arm aroud you? Is that good? - Yeah, yeah.
- How do I...what do I press? - Just touch the...tab, tab the... screen first.
Hold on, let me make sure it's not on video. It's on uh...yeah, I put it on camera, there we go.
Alright, get together...
You gotta tab the center of the screen and when you see a box, make sure the box is around our head,
so whatever you're shooting is in the box.
- Just take the picture. - Okay, I got it, I got it.
- There you go. - You got your fingers in front of the camera.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
God...great!
Thank you, thank you...
Thank you officer.
- Hey, can I just take a picture up there...in the kitchen? - In...er...on the truck?
That'll great, yeah.
That's good! Okay.
Can I take one pressing a sandwich or something?
- Got it. - Good? Okay. Alright.
Can we do one more...where...with "Lady in the Tramp"... you biting one end and me biting the other.
I got it, I got it. Let go.
I think I missed the exit.
Thank you, Miami! Check us out on Vine!
Cop almost shut us down on South Beach!
Good thing he loved our Cubanos!
Cuban SAMMY'S!!! #Mojo #E!Jefe
What the hell are you doing? You sending pictures to mom?
- I'm posting a Vine. - A Vine? What's a Vine?
It's a video, look.
Hey, come on, man! Get the hell out of my face!
- Seriously. - Christ!
- It's only 6 seconds. - You're taking a video...6 seconds.
- 6 seconds video. - You believe this generation?
- Unbelievable man, little attention - ADHD! - ADHD, right!
It's nothing. I also been shooting these videos 1 second everyday.
1 second videos? Now you're joking with me.
No, you add them all together.
1 second everyday and then you cut them together and watch it, it's cool.
Okay, enough with the virtual word. How about something real? Who wants to stop at Disney World?
- Oh, yeah, I do. - Disney World? That's real?
We shouldn't stop 'till we get to New Orleans.
- Hey, hey, that's your son! - That's my boy.
The kid would rather go to New Orleans than Disney World.
Now I've seen everything.
I can't wait to try my first beignet.
Every other person you see in New Orleans thinks jazz and booze, your kid thinks doughnuts.
Yeah, I know.
Alright, New Orleans.
What're you doing?
Putting a little corn starch on my "huevos", man. It's too humid down here.
- Dad, dad, wake up! - What?
Martin is putting corn starch on his balls.
- You putting corn starch on your balls? - Yes sir.
Can I get some?
You want some?
Here.
Like baby powder. Cooling your nuts.
- It's nice, right? - Nice.
What's good is in the morning, you can dip your nuts in oil and make hushpuppies.
Come on! Come on!
Alright, back it up.
Come on! Come on!
Watch out, baby.
That's it.
- Nice. - Nice driving skill.
- I'm getting a hang on this thing. - I can see.
- I'm gonna take my kid for a walk. - Yeah.
Oh nice. I get promoted to sous chef and I gotta do all the hard work?
Thank you.
Where are we? Bourbon Street?
No, this is the Frenchmen Street. Bourbon's for tourists. We're on the Marigny.
Follow me.
- Where're we going? - Just come, come on, French Quarter.
We're going to Cafe Du Monde.
- Have you heard of Cafe Du Monde? - Is this the beignet place?
You ready?
We've come a long way for these.
- "Beignets". - Here we go.
Eat it slow. Never going to have your first beignet ever again.
- It's cool. - It's cool right?. You like it?
Don't taste like this anywhere else in the world.
- So what else you gonna buy? - Nothing.
- Nothing for work? - Nope.
- Are we good? - Just want to try some beignets with you.
Cool.
- I like New Orleans. - I like New Orleans too.
- Somebody ate my body. - I didn't brush my teeth.
This is what happens to you when you don't brush your teeth.
- Dude, dude, where were you, man? - What? I went shopping.
- You went hopping? I called you, man. - We got beignets and we...
- You got beignets? Why didn't you pick up your phone, man! - My phone was on vibrate!
- You put your phone on vibrate? - What's the problem?
- I'm sorry! - Chill out, chill out, take a look, just take a look!
Please take a look!
- Is that for us? - That's for us.
The whole thing is for us?
Can you believe that? Oh my god!
Alright, so I guess we gotta cook some food!
- Gotta cook some food. - Alright, so you're good with prep?
Yes sir.
- We're going to get thru' this, you ready? - I'm ready, boss.
- Okay, buy me 5 minutes. - Yes sir.
Will you just give us 5 minutes, please?
5 minutes, we'll be right there 5 more minutes, that's all.
- Everything...everything is hot, oil is hot...you got everything ready! - Yes sir.
You're a superstar! You're a superstar!
Thank you, sir.
And how did you get that crowd? You got a huge crowd outside!
I didn't get that crowd. I just came back from shopping and there was this long line...I thought it was a mistake.
I tweeted it.
- You what? - What did you do?
I tweeted the picture on your account and then geo-tagged it, look.
What man, what did you do, you did what? You geo...
I tagged it to the local markets on the map.
Look at those pictures!
How did...these pictures are from here. How did you get those pictures from here?
- When I was going to Cafe Du Monde. - Then you put it on line?
You're a genius, kid!
You're the reason everyone is here, you know that?
You're cut out for marketing. Thank you.
Alright, so, uh, uh, I'm going to hit the chalk board, you walk him thru' the prep on the po-boys...
- ...and get the plancha going. - Yes chef, yes chef, jefe cito.
- You gotta butter the plancha, son, alright? - I got this...Percy, look!
Yes sir!
Start from here.
- Here we go. - Thank you very much.
Napkins are down there.
- One beignet coming up. - Hang on a second.
- Number 7? - Here we go, 2 more.
My falta, coming up?
Hang on one second. This is my kid, he is just learning.
- You saw this on Twitter? - Yeah.
That is my kid, he did all that.
- Are the...how's the po-boys doing? - Coming up with the shrimps.
Alright.
It's worth the wait, I promise.
Ooh baby, I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing
Sexual healing, oh baby, makes me feel so fine.
Ooh baby!
Helps to relieve my mind
Sexual healing baby, is good for me
Sexual healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue teardrops are fallin'
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby
And honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
- Jefe, jefe, it says sold out, man. - We should be good.
I think they're holding for us.
Hey, Bengie, we got here as fast as we could.
Hopefully we're still good, you got anything for me?
- Gotta check with the man. - Alright, we'll be back.
- Thanks. - What's up, ?
- Hey, Aaron. - What's up, Carl?
- How you doing? - How you doing?
Driving all night. Doing good
- You still got the stuff? - Le's do it.
He got the stuff.
What is this place?
This is Texas' Old Gee Barbecue.
These guys gotta stay up all night and stoke those fires, low and slowly.
Oh man, that's gorgeous!
- So how many can I get? - I guess 4.
- I'll take it. - Alright.
- Nice! - Oh yeah!
Oh yeah, here we go.
Oh, man!
Let's do some sliders.
He thought we should do sliders, man, we get... from King's Hawaiian bread, pickle, barbecue sauce...
Maybe what if we swap these out for the pork medianoche, what do you think about that?
Swap this for the "porcho"?
- Maybe call it: Austin Midnight - I like that, that's hot, baby!
- Let me get one more of this, it's delicious. Help yourself. - Me too. one more.
Wait, let me cut right thru'.
Save it, dog, you're going to use it all up, man!
- You get half, I'll give you half. - You can't eat your own supply. Come on, man!
- Put it away after this. - Fine.
- Six sliders, all there! - 69 is coming up.
One Midnight coming up!
Medianoche en Texas.
This is getting murdered
- You got the 3 Medianoches coming up? - Alright.
Order 65...and 66!
- I got a po-boy right here. - One sec'.
- Can you pass me the pan? - One cubano.
- Thank you. - Good.
- Hey, your phone is ringing, Percy. - Alright.
Hey, mom!
Where are you?
- I'm in Austin. - Are you okay?
- I'm great. - How's your daddy?
Here, talk to him.
Hi, Inez.
- Hi, you want me to come and pick him up? - No, you're thousand miles away!
- It's okay, I can go and get on a plane and pick him up. - No, it's fine. He's doing great.
I miss him. I want him to come home. I'm lonely.
He's fine. He has got a couple of burns and 2 stitches from a paring knife.
Please, I'm serious, let me go and pick him up.
- You know he's such a cook now? - I'm a line cook.
He's a line cook.
Be careful!
I'll have him on time for school.
And you, are you okay?
I'm amazing!
Oh, you're so sexy with the bandana, I want your big platano.
Looks here you guys are having so much fun!
Alright, give me one second. Do you know your son can work a grill?
- I had beer! - What he said?
He said he misses you!
Tell him I love him.
Dad got me a knife.
He says "I love you".
What?
I love you!
I love you too!
Tell him, "I love you too!", okay?
Bye.
Alright, 70!
- Let's do a selfie. - Selfie?
Let me do it with the flash.
Oh look at that.
Email that to me, alright?
Yeah.
- Mind if I post this? - As another Vine?
No, it's a one sec' everyday video.
Remember, it's a trip all cut together.
- Oh, the little cuts...of the thing?
Yeah, just email it to me, I'm sure it's fine.
- Listen, I, er...I want to talk to you about something - Yeah?
- I've had a really good time with you this last couple of weeks - Me too.
and you've become a really good cook.
Thanks, dad.
Not just for a kid, I mean you're really good. You worked really hard.
It's a big deal.
But we're going to be home soon and... we're going to get back to our lives
and I'm going to be really busy with the truck and you're going to be really busy with school...
But I can still work on the truck, right? You said I was a good cook.
I'm sorry, Percy.
I just don't want you to be dissapointed when things go back to the way they were.
I don't want us to go back to that.
I can work after school and on weekends.
I just want to be honest with you, okay? I feel like I've let you down so much
I don't want to blindside you but the summer's going to end and we're not going to be doing this anymore.
- Okay? - Okay.
But we had a lot of fun and nobody could take away from us what we had experienced together, right?
And I felt like I really got to know you.
Alright, let's watch the music...
Alright pal, here we are.
- It's nice to be home... - Yep.
... see your turtle, see your mommy, back to your room...
I'm really going to miss you.
I'm going to miss you too.
Okay, but you stay with me in 2 weeks.
- Okay? - Yeah.
Whole weekend.
- Did you post the video yet? - I didn't look at it yet, I'm sorry.
- Don't forget. - I won't.
- I'll resend it? - Okay.
Come on, mommy misses you, go, go on.
Bye.
Wait a second.
Ready, dad?
See you next week!
So I'm the nanny?
Here we go
Hi!
Look out!
- Hey, dad. - Hi.
What's wrong?
- Nothing. - What's up?
- Listen, I was...I was thinking about what we were talking about - Yeah?
- and it's going to be okay with mom, let me just say that first - What are you talking about?
I could really use your help on the truck
You there?
Yeah
and it's only for the weekends and after school, after you're done with your homework
and all the money goes into your college fund,
Okay, is that sound good?
That sounds pretty good.
Mom, dad wants me come work in his truck!
No, really, he's on the phone
Mom wants to talk with you. I think it's yes, hang on.
2 platanos, 3 medianoches. 3 yucas or 2?
- Order 16! , 16! , 16, 16 ,here. - Thank you.
Order, order, three?
2 cubanos? you ordered 21, slider?
- Thank you. - Order 21, thank you. Here we go.
- I got yours coming. - Okay, thank you.
There's no food for you here?
Could I speak to the chef just for a second, please?
The hell you will.
Can I talk to you?
Okay.
Next, next!
What exactly are you doing here?
I'm er...eating your food, eating your food.
I thought my food was needy and cloying.
Well, I didn't think you'd want to serve me so I sent somebody else to pick it up.
What happened between us, that really knocked me for a loop.
I mean you robbed me of my pride, my career, my dignity
- and I know people like you, you don't usually care about that kind of thing - That's not necessarily true.
but you should know, it hurts people like me
- because we were really trying. - You started a flaming war with me.
Are you kidding me, I buy ink by the barrel, buddy. What were you doing picking a fight with me?
I wouldn't challenge you to a cook off.
- I thought I was sending you a private message. - I didn't know that!
I thought we were having fun! It was theater!
By the way, what the fuck were you cooking?
You totally shat the bed, buddy! How could I back that?
You were one of my early boys.
- I had no control over the menu. - Whatever the case, okay?
You seem to be cooking for yourself again
because this shit is sensational! I mean really really good.
Thank you.
I'm not going to write about it
- I understand. - because I'd like to back you.
Excuse me?
I want to bankroll you and I can't write about anything I've a vested interest in.
I'm not sure I get what's going on.
I sold my website for a whole lot of money
and I just put in a bid for a place on Rose, it's zoned, it's permitted.
You can build it out however you like and you can cook whatever you like.
Take your time, think about it.
I wouldn't blame you for having a few trust issues but I just thought that
you know, you and me burying the hatchet might be a good story, reservations out the door.
More importantly, you know, you just cook your arse off in there!
In the mean time, you just tweet me where ever you are, and I'll come running
because this shit's good! Alright?
Delicious. "Delicioso".
Mucho goodo.
Hey, jefe!
That was a lot of talking, you're not punching him, so what'd the asshole say?
I think that asshole might be our new partner.